The KC Transcription

WWW

Now that I have gotten all the drama out of my life, what's next? I'm terribly bored. When he's got no place to rest, the world weary warrior's simply that. Weary.

Ooh alliteration.

Time to seek some drama. The cycle goes on.

Addict

I want a smoke.

--

Blog again when I get back. Time is better spent exploring Shanghai's nightlife.

Was walking along the road with my sis to meet mom, Mi Jie and Tang Tang. Passed by a traditional bun shop, bought a pork bun and munched on it as we (sis had a red bean one) continued on in the freezing weather. I kinda liked that feeling. I can work here. And yes it's too early to start missing me silly.

Yan Yan and Tang Tang have grown up quite a bit. Yan Yan is so eloquent now it's a little scary. Tang Tang is the same personality wise but looks older, with longer hair. Kinda like from gong tai to yan dao boy. Good genes sia these two.

Grrr... Smoke.

Shanghai Sally

Is it wrong for me to feel shitty when she's obviously enjoying herself? And happy?

Nobody said anything about me being a nice guy anyway. Still bitter perhaps. I just thought I'd be bigger than this.

Always overestimating myself.

--

Will not lapse this time. This time, I'll distract myself without hurting anyone. Hmmm. The wheels are already set in motion... derailment?

Is this my conscience speaking or am I just bored of this game? But I want distractions. They work. Sigh. The battle between the id and the egos rages on.

--

I notice that the frequency of my blog entries is inversely proportionate to my mental well being and proportionate to the frequency and magnitude of internal moral conflicts. Unhealthy, this blogging thing.

Maybe I like it though, who knows.

--

4.4 CAP for what I thought would be my worst sem ever. No Dean's List, but nothing short of a miracle man. Was expecting something below 3.5. God is blessing the wrong guy.

Stay Jolly

I'm spending too much time with one bunch of people. Sure, distractions here and there, but still I'm spending most of my time with them. My personal history indicates that such a phenomenon will inevitably result in a messy, combustive end that leaves behind... nothing. Ced and Lynette, dyl. Pretty strong evidence.

I hate the friend making process. Tired.

--

I've changed. Amazing. They call it conscience.

--

The past few weeks were fraught with moments of weakness. Talked too much. Or did I? Can't quite remember. Time to clamp up. I like it better that way. Not secure enough perhaps.

I wonder... when people care, what's the motive? To feel closer to another person? The Mother Teresa complex? Aiyoh so negative. Well I do feel better when people care. But that's all I need. Details are irrelevant.

--

Christmas cheer.

We can see how our heads aren't exactly taking control

Last night it all came back to me. Lynette.. It feels kinda surreal actually. Five years? No, four.

No regrets? Who am I kidding.

I guess I started understanding myself since. Life as a journey of self-discovery huh? What if you don't want to know who you really are?

--

I was going through some songs I wrote back in MTE. Not a difficult task cos they're all so easy to figure out heh. Overdue, I wrote for myself. Quitter (such a juvenile title. Hindsight, hindsight), about Singapore . Laurencia for, erm, Laurencia duh. At The Edge... can't remember what about, but it gains meaning over time. Cheesy as hell, but the best song I'd written. Heartbreak Motel (Worse. Title. Ever. Named it just before we played it. Bad idea.), about flings. Come With Me, copious fun.

The rest don't really matter.